Tuesday, January 27, 2015

VOICE: Labile (rehearsal)

I have been working out this idea inside my head for days. I am very pleased with this first pass at it.

Post by Sylviatoyindustries.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Dime Novel Snippets: Pigeons come home to roost

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Exploring a red world

Blogging a Movie: VOICE On YouTube 
VOICE is three characters battling for a brain:
(1) the depressive self
(2) the manic self
(3) a psychotic voice
The core conflict is each part's struggle for survival, i.e., dominance of the geographical territory that is the brain to be accomplished by rendering powerless the other parts.
This project is in the story development stage. My first task was, of course, to develop characters. I started with a psychotic character and a struggling to cope character. Once I began improvising monologues, it was clear there was something - actually, someone - missing. The character is a bipolar who hears voices - that adds up to three characters, including the Voice.
It is easier for a depressive to have positive memories of being manic than it is for a manic to remember what it feels like to be depressed. I have made the depressive the central and most completely conscious character (protagonist) and the manic is the antagonist. I am having fun exploring both characters though the antagonist needs focus and more "business."
The Voice is forming herself into a pivotal wild card - at this point, as an actor I have not found her motivation yet. I am sure both of the other characters have plenty a bone to pick with psychosis that gets in both their sh*t, as it were, creating obstacles to either one winning the war over the self.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Passages, a Myth - evolution of a performance art movie

Friday, January 2, 2015

This is not a book

My "novel snippets" are short, existential bits that seem to be happening in the middle of a scene in a novel. That is the way the bits form in my brain. I have no explanation other than dayjob burnout and satire has been an outlet for passively aggressing since there was civilization. At the moment, writing these and shooting these is more hobby for me than art. It is good to have a hobby and I will be updating this post from time to time.

Thursday, January 1, 2015


adjective: earnest
resulting from or showing sincere and intense conviction.
synonyms: serious, solemn, grave, sober, humorless, staid, intense

antonyms: frivolous, apathetic, halfhearted

I wonder how often without being aware that I'm doing it, I send my writer trolling through my mind or somewhere else for a metaphor that fits my mood. Today's theme is earnestness, a word and concept that I never thought about much until recently - well, except for auditioning for a production of Mr. Wilde's play. This morning that word, earnestness, came up almost as soon as I woke up and resumed what ​ I have been doing for weeks: tackling the problem of my ​distressing inner and outer conflict over dayjob.

There are exactly 180 days until the date that my husband and I have agreed I can stop having a permanent dayjob. I am miserable in dayjob. I have been miserable in dayjob ever since dayjob was kindergarten. It is not enough that in six months I won't have to do it anymore. Time is the same whether one spends it suffering or not - it goes and it's gone. I am not a person who can just forget about, not let it bother me, not take it seriously. I have tried to be "frivolous, apathetic, half-hearted​.​"​ I have tried that many times. It doesn't work. It never will. It won't work because I am earnest -​ "serious and solemn​ as a grave and​ sober, humorless and​ staid about work, as well as, overall, intense.​

I hit upon "earnestness" a number of days ago as explaining quite a lot about myself - as summing me up in dayjob - and I have been turning it over and over in my mind trying to figure out if there's anything to do about it to be less miserable.

I've never liked Mr. Wilde's play, you know. People like those characters make me want to be really mean and cruel to them. I auditioned for The Importance of Being Earnest because I thought it would be a good stretch for me as an actor to do a play that I didn't like. I didn't get a part in the play and I find its characters are as slappable as ever. But Oscar Wilde is a hero of artists in the Western World and I am an artist in the Western World. So, he is a hero of mine. This morning, I tried to put myself in his shoes and almost immediately, I wanted to beat up everyone in Victorian London because a man who was barely in his forties had his life ruined by real people, including his wife, who were just like the annoying characters in his play.
"Wilde's final address was at the dingy Hôtel d'Alsace (now known as L'Hôtel), in Paris; "This poverty really breaks one's heart: it is so sale, so utterly depressing, so hopeless. Pray do what you can" he wrote to his publisher. He corrected and published An Ideal Husband and The Importance of Being Earnest, the proofs of which Ellmann argues show a man "very much in command of himself and of the play" but he refused to write anything else "I can write, but have lost the joy of writing". He spent much time wandering the Boulevards alone, and spent what little money he had on alcohol. A series of embarrassing encounters with English visitors, or Frenchmen he had known in better days, further damaged his spirit. Soon Wilde was sufficiently confined to his hotel to remark, on one of his final trips outside, "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One of us has got to go." Wikipedia.
​I think because I am a person who in my other life - my real life as an artist - that takes up most of my time and energy is otherwise "very much in command of [her]self and of the play" that it is difficult for people to grasp that I really cannot get on top of my misery in dayjob, no matter how hard I try. Trying hard is the very problem! I am earnest and I have been since kindergarten. I will never stop trying hard. I will be serious as a grave dayjobbing for 180 more days in a world full of silly people who are as slappable the characters in Mr. Wilde's play. That's just the way it is.


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

VOICE: The Story

Voice (a rehearsal)

VOICE is a video performance art project. VOICE currently is in the story development phase. I use in-character improvisations to develop story. My first artist mentor taught me how to learn about myself by observing myself and my actions like I would observe someone or someone else. She quit smoking using this skill - years later, so did I.

VOICE has 3 characters who are all facets of the same person. One of the three observes the other two, the dysfunctional character and the character who is in denial. 

The core conflict of VOICE is that all three characters want the same thing - control of the Self - without having to share with the others. It has take since last summer for me to learn who the characters are and what they want. Now, I need a McGuffin. If this project is like my other multiple character projects, I'm sure that now that I have the characters fighting among themselves, they will let me know what that McGuffin is.